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I am an Old Soul with a Dark Style. 

Thursday, 17 December 2015

Hair Update (again) JUST LEAVE IT ALONE

I swear, my hair has been so good to me the past two years. I've been Black, ginger, blonde, white, pink, lilac, red, blonde again, brown, dark brown, red, purple, purple and green ombre, then ginger (with green tinge) then finally submitting that i'd have to go more red to get rid of the tinge. Well its gone. FINALLY and i still have all of my hair. I'm very fortunate that my hair has taken this abuse where most others' would have broken, snapped and fallen out around the blonde/white era, but i am now beginning to see affects...let me explain...
I am now finally near my 3 year long goal of "fire hair" (taking inspiration from one of my favorite bloggers Lua P, and her blog "Le Happy"...i have had photos of this woman's hair saved on my computer and phone for years. Originally i cut off my long locks and stripped the black out of my hair two years ago with the mindset to grow it back out in a lighter colour so that when it was long again i could fire it up. (literally) 

But as my hair got so light i figured i'd play around with the pastels etc while i could. i had it cut back into a pixie cut a few times so i could minimize damage...etc... so recently as its now shoulder length again i decided to dye it that epic fire colour I've always wanted. but i've now seen so many people with that colour i though rather than copy i'd do like my own version. So my Hair is now this EPIC red mix my sister mixed for me using Wella Colour touch.
The colours used are 66/46 and 77/44 with a 5/0 toner mixed in with the roots colour to stop them from going too red. Then she's put hilights though my hair using a 20vol peroxide to get maximum lift without my hair giving up and running away....turns out the only thing running away is my blooming colour. The Wella colour touch is fantastic. I cannot fault it at all, but because the end 3'' or so of my hair have been bleached so much, what with being white, then ombred etc... now it seems no dye EVER will stick to it. I'm aware the wella colours are only temporary, which is deliberate as my hair is so damaged i wanted to use something less harsh and more conditioning. So i realize the colour will wash out and fade...but the ends of my hair lose colour in the blink of an eye. But looking at it from a positive point of view at least its kind of ombreing itself..?! haha so hopefully before Christmas or just after im just going to get it ombred properly then i'll FINALLY after all this time be the colour i've idolized for so long. then all i have to do is occasional root-regrowth but LEAVE IT ALONE. hahah so lets see how well that works out.


Thursday, 22 October 2015

More Green Hair Issues

I finally get my hair a colour that i adore, that suits my skin tone, looks natural and will be low-cost on up-keep....YEAH RIGHT!!!
First off- It's my own damn fault....for wanting crazy galaxy hair colours...the La Riche Turquoise is a beautiful colour but forbid anyone who wants to lose the green locks!!!

My lovely Ginger/Copper tones still have streaks of green on the ends and through some areas, and as the colour fades the green really shows through...especially at work in the artifical lighting.
I tried re-dying with the same semi-conditionng colour i bought (see previous post), but the green still lurked. Then i went out and bought a pernanent colour, the Live XXL in Mango- which is new, and beautiful by the way...but still the green is there like an unwanted fetted aura of doom....

Short of bleaching and re-dying which i really want to avoid all i can do is go more red to combat the green tones (if you know your colour wheel red is opposite to green so they cancel each other out and make brown)...my idea was to go red, like rich deep red, then get some micro-loop hair extentions in a ginger/blonde to add tones to my hair, maybe even ombre it...

I'm annoyed though, and dont want to admit defeat. It makes no sense that a semi-colour would last so long as the colour doesnt attatch to the cortex, but insted to the outer surface of the hair, although the running theory is my hair was damaged and the green got in the coretex...so technically bleach is the only way to remove...merrrgh.
Anyway rant over. I have a week or so to decide so im going to do more research.
Have any of you had similar issues? Or know a solution?
Thans for Reading!

Wednesday, 7 October 2015

Hair Update: From Galaxy Hair to Winter Red also...Getting Green out of your hair is a TASK.

So. As you all know...I change my hair like the Seasons. this time quite literally. I was a super awesome Purple/Green/Blue Galaxy inspired Ombre hair colour for the summer. I loved it. But the upkeep was irritating. As much as I love and adore La Riche Directions'colours because they are semi colours and my hair grows like weeds, I found I was having to re-do the roots every 2-3 weeks. On the plus side the colour was always vibrant.

   But because it was the Directions Plum transitioning into Turquoise, when I couldn't afford to buy more colour I had to let it fade. And although the Plum colour stayed really vibrant the Turquoise faded to a Cow-pat green shade and it had to go.
I was watching a lot of Guy Tangs Videos. Looking at all of his amazing colour combinations, his colour melts...inspired completely but lacking the skill and time/money I took to Pinterest instead to research Autumnal colours and natural looking colours.
After a week of evenings spent on Pinterest, getting distracted by other pretties I settled for a beautiful rich Auburn/Ginger colour. My brother is Ginger and we have a similar skin tone. Being Part Italian and Part Scottish I'm quite lucky in the fact that I'm naturally very pale but I tan very easily and go a lovely Olive colour. So I know most natural shades of hair colour suit me. I was tempted by a chestnut brown but I've been there before. I wanted something different.
   So first step was to bleach bath my hair. Your mixture should be equal parts bleach powder/developer/shampoo. Try and make sure you use a plain basic shampoo so nothing will counter-act any other chemicals. The bleach powder I used was the High Lift BBlonde Blue powder bleach by Jerome Russell (£3.99 Superdrug) and a 20 Vol developer from Sallys that we stock in our salon. The shampoo I chose to mix was also one we just stock in the Salon; IQ Intelligent Shampoo, Deep Cleanse (£8.00ish). I left this mix on for between 20 and 30 min. and it resulted in lovely blonde roots, a slightly orange secondary colour and a sludge green smear through the ends.

I then had to counter-act the leftover green, and to neutralise green you need to add a Red colour and this should bring it down to a brown tone. As a pre-pigment I used the Chilled Ed-stain from Aston and Fincher, Usually you need a RED to counteract a Green but as I was going for a copper colour I didn't want a red pre-pigment to interfere with the final colour so I used the Ed-stain in Orange.

This neutralised most of the green tones, made a sludgy brown/ginger tone but there were still green tinges certain lights.

From there I used my Final Colour; Matrix Color Sync In 6RC+. It is super conditioning, has a self contained Primer and lasts long enough that my roots would need re-doing anyway. This colour can only be developed using the Matrix Color Sync Developer or 'activator'. I have linked them but they may only be available to salons. Amazon will probably have it. Anyway... That first colour came out lovely, multi-tonal but had patches of green still visable in the light.

So being a perfectionist. I waited a week and re-applied to the troubled areas and it came out an amazing bright copper colour. 

I'm so happy with the final outcome. All my Autumnal clothes go well with my hair (greens/browns/reds) and it really makes my eyes look more green, doesnt look odd against my pale skin or freckles and my brows even match without having to dye/pencil them in. I'm really happy with it and I'm hoping this will be a colour that stays for a good while. 
Thanks for Reading! xoxo

I've had a break. (And been on a break) Heartache/heartbreak and battling my Anxiety and Depression.

As many of you who regularly used to read my blog will know, I was happily married.

But life it seems, has to throw it's curve-balls. Just to make sure you're still paying attention and trying. That you haven't given up and fallen into a rut because it got "too easy".

   What you may not know is that although my Husband and I have been together 8 years. For 5 years of that we were trying for a baby. And failing. Despite that we still enjoyed our lives together. It wasn't a big thing- until it was a big thing for me. After a few basic tests we discovered he was completely fine and normally functioning. Which then meant that the issue lay with me.
I have had quite a horrific past sexually, but I'll leave that for another post- but that past, combined with feeling like I was failing as a basic human, let alone as a female, kinda sent me a bit off the rails. And my Husband too. Admittedly we became toxic for one another. He was reacting to my bullsh*t. And we never, and I mean NEVER talked about it...which was a massive mistake on both parts.

   After going to the Doctors in November 2014 and explaining our situation, and that we had been trying for 5 years, our lovely Doc referred us to the hospital so I could go through all the motions and help of fertility guidance etc...
He warned us there and then that most couples don't survive. But I dismissed that notion within seconds because we were "fine". But by the end of December It was quite apparent we were not "fine" by any measure. Arguing constantly which we never do- and I tell no lie, what we used to do was bicker, get pissed off then end up laughing about it and everything would be fine again, but nope- now there were full on shouting matches now. Even after moving house and our supposed "fresh start".
   One very tear-filled night at the very beginning of January 2015, not long after we got our fertility test date through- we decided to go our separate ways. We had been arguing almost constantly for a week, both saying stuff we knew neither of us meant, but we stuck by it because we were angry;
 "I don't want kids anyway"
"Everything has become stale and boring"
"I feel trapped"
We hurt each other so soooo bad and what stopped us from saying sorry was the fact we both felt like we deserved it.

 We stayed in the same house for a couple of months. I treated it like I was renting a room and we were friends. Which we were. (and still are) BEST FRIENDS. As it became apparent there was no going back I moved out and moved in with a good friend of mine. We each began seeing other people...my life became exciting again.
    I was lost weight. Discovered I was still attractive to other men. Building my confidence. Started my artwork again. Finished my Beauty Course. Started Gaming again! I was Battling my Anxiety too. I "found myself" as damn cheesy as that sounds- but I really did. I discovered what made my Social Anxiety and Depression worse. It did get worse for a short spell...and it got better again when i realised what my issue was...all without any outside help. I turned my inward hatred on its head and started looking out at everything bad like a challenge or an obstacle to over come. At first my Husband hated me, to him it seemed I had moved on so easily. And how quickly he moved on made me feel like I really couldn't have even meant that much to him in the first place. But we remained friends. Still things unspoken. Left in the past. Where it belonged.
   But although I missed him every day, and I had days where my head hurt from crying so much, and my heart felt like it was actually broken...I decided to outweigh the bad days with good days. Started making good and positive experiences for myself. Met some truely wonderful and amazing people along the way. And admittedly hurt a few people too. I think because I was becoming so positive and strong I was attracting guys but in the wrong way. Where as I was looking at it as fun life experiences, meeting new amazing people, one or two fell for me. And I hurt them. I put them through the heartbreak I was trying to escape. So I put a stop to that too. No more. No More guys. Yes the attention was nice and the confidence boost was great but now I didn't need it and they didn't deserve it.
   My friend i moved in with has been my rock. She's awesome. We started our own little Make up, Beauty and Hair business together. Suddenly I find I have a business head to screw on. things to do. Places to be. I changed jobs from minimum hours at Hobby Craft to Weekends at Primark. It's such a great place to work! I'm having so much fun. Suddenly I have A future, aspirations, dreams coming true...But Dreams without my Husband.

   I've known the man I call my Husband since I was 18. He literally knows me inside out and back to front. He can tell what mood i'm in by what smile i have on. He can tell what i'm thinking by what i'm doing with my hands. He's been my rock through my mental health issues. My body health issues and all the horrid negative hurdles I've had to jump...as well as being there through all the best times too. And now suddenly I was looking at all of this possibilities with renewed and refreshed eyes, but without him in the picture...but the space was there for him.
   We had seen each other regularly through our time apart. Even when we were both seeing other people. We still occasionally hung out. I'd go round for dinner once in a while. See our pets. Check-in with each other and with each others family,
   Officially we had been apart 9 months, We were messaging randomly and both said "I really miss you" within minutes of each other, and we both meant it. I felt myself well up. I thought he was angry at me for getting on so well without him. And it turned out he though I hated him for things he said or never did say. In the end we decided to meet up and go for a meal. Talk. And boy did we talk the night away. Said every single thing we wanted to say and neither of us reacted badly. We had both grown in our own ways. He was more responsible. Running a house had made him see the daily stress i went through as well as working, things he admittedly took for granted like having to clean up after his house mate...I even remember him saying "I just wish he'd help, its not hard to pick up a hoover or brush" and I laughed so hard because I had said pretty much that same sentence about him multiple times in the past. "Karmas a bitch" was my response to him.
   He saw how confident I had become in myself. Felt less pressure that he was the only thing keeping me happy. Saw that I was battling my Depression and Anxiety daily without him and winning. I had made myself stronger in his absance and this in turn meant there was less pressure on him to keep me running as well as himself. I relied on him almost too much. When my anxiety was at its worst i wouldnt even leave the house. He had to go to the shops for me. We never went out and did anything together. I was using him as my crutch. Not that he'd ever say it. He thought it was what he was supposed to do. As a Spouse to someone with mental health issues arent you supposed to be the one they rely on? - yes - but not entirely. .I was using him as an excuse to not get better. And it took me being without him to realise i was putting too much pressure on him to make me better. As much as he felt it was his job to- it really wasn't. He was support, not the cure. and that was a huge fault on my part and a massive realisation of being alone.
   But whatever switches flicked on in my head, well it worked. I realised this was a massive issue he'd never ever complain about.
   Now were dating again. Everything's had a master reset and been renewed. I feel like we're falling in love all over again. It just re-affirms the original feelings as an 19 year old that we were meant to be together. It's been a whirlwind experience but as much as its been heartbreaking and depressing its been revitalising and I feel like a new human stepping out into a new world of possibilities- but ones i'm making for myself. I'm not waiting to magically get better. I'm MAKING myself better. And i feel lucky in the fact that my Husband is going to still be there with me. Our hiatus has done something magically positive for us.

  Admittedly this isn't the case for all couples. I do believe some people just aren't meant to be. We've lost a lot of friends along the way, and cut out a good few more. We have made new friends and we, together, are taking it slow and building stronger foundations to stand on. Looking positively forward TOGETHER. I feel lucky to have the chance to try again. But also safe in the knowledge that i know neither of us will take one another for granted again as we both know we can survive without each other.

   We're like entirely different people yet with all the same foundations and memories of what made us so happy and great together in the first place.

   So yeah...that's why I've been on hiatus. And now i run my beauty stuff with my friend whos is an excelled hair dresser I figured it was a great time to get back into the swing of things again and get some beauty and hair stuffs on the go!
Thanks for Reading!

Wednesday, 14 January 2015

December Fave's (the month of Lush)

It's the most wonderful time of the year!

It's no understatement when i say winter is my favorite time of year, I can't really pin-point a specific reason, just in my mind it's more about home and family, everything is more glitzy and lushcious. It just has me literally buzzing.
 My December had my first trip to Cabbot Circus, Christmas, Loads of Lush Products and plenty of sale bargains.

First up, at work we had a Christmas fair, where i had a stall selling odd little things i'd made. Also, my first attempt at shortbread, and i made our winter display cake for work too.

Next we have my epic sale finds in H & M, i spent a grand total of £10 all together on all these items. 
Purple beanie, mint green dress and vest, and mint green and pink flower crop. 

Then there was Lush. 

Candy mountain bubble bar, snow fairy shower gel, seanik shampoo bar, full of grace solid face moisturiser, cannot remember the name of the solid glitter bar. But these all seriously smelt amazing, but this wasnt the end, i then bought one of Lush's 'Star of wonder' gift boxes in their sale. 

This was reduced down to £17, it included; shoot for the stars bath bomb, snow fairy sparkle bar, more snow fairy shower gel, star light star bright bath melt, another candy mountain bubble bar, and sparkler bath fizzer/bomb. 
And as if that wasnt enough, one of my best friends got me a Little Snow Fairy gift box for christmas, which included even more Snow Fairy shower gel and some pink Fun. 

So, i literally smell lush! It's been immence, and i had such an awesome and relaxed Christmas day and as so lucky to get som really great presents, Star trek TNG season 2, Adventure time season 1, Guardians of the Galaxy Blueray and soundtrack, My perfume, Ghost by night. Pj's,a fedora, new purse, new make up bag, watch...but best of all, my Tattoo booked in with Paula Castle in Feb. 
December 2014, you rocked.   :)