I'm not jumping on the bandwagon of being the "biggest fan" of a recent celebrity who's death is all over the news, and I'm not writing this because it is popular to talk about. I've actually instead, been inspired to write and tell you that you matter.
Depression and all other mental health issues are horrible. No matter what you do or say, sometimes people just can't see that you are reaching out a helping hand. And equally some people are just so good at pretending they're floating along fine that under the surface even their closest family and friends cannot see that they are so close to being dragged under and drowning.
This facade is unfortunately blameless. No two people can react to the same mental health issues in the exact same way. While subject number 1 with Depression can be obviously depressed and eventually receive help, subject number 2's depression could be completely masked, and masked so well they are overlooked by everyone. And both these subjects are equally as in need of help. But in the UK at least. although flawed, there is a system in place that can and WILL help if you ask. But something as simple as asking for help seems like just such an easy feat to any "normal" person. To someone suffering under the weight of their own mental health, this is almost impossible.
To add to that- the day to day stigmas of close minded people who have never have, or never will suffer from any issues like this. Society has been so closed and looked away from so many people over the centuries, we have endless amounts of evidence of clearly mentally challenged, mentally disabled and mentally ill people suffering from various psychological mental health issues being either locked away, ignored, experimented on and even killed. There are studies into the horrors of Psychiatric hospitals, people with schizophrenia being "treated" for possession, being burned for being a witch. And all of this needless suffering and pain has come from the simple act of a lack of compassion and refusal to want to understand, and almost a fear because so many people seem unable to understand. And this exact thing is still happening, and I suspect will still continue to happen no matter how many people try and talk about it in a way that everyone will understand.
Of course I am referring to Chester Bennington of Linkin Park. In the last couple of years we have had our fair share of celebrity deaths, through various reasons, including suicide, but none hit me quite as hard as this. Mainly because it brought to light the exact thing most mental health sufferers fear most, and that is the Depression (or other illness) winning.
The only way I can begin to describe it is if you know you have this huge, overpowering darkness inside. You have lived under it for years. You are perhaps at a point where you have an umbrella to shield you from its heavy downpours, or you have a box you can compress it all down and store it in, and for the brief times you are not under its control, and you are able to be "Lucid" and "Normal" you can look back at it and see how much it affects your entire life. All aspects of it, like an annoying fly buzzing in the background of every conversation, every laugh, every smile, it's lurking back there and you know its there. You can even hear it on the happiest day at the happiest moments. You wonder how everyone else hears and sees the world without this evil buzzing about you and your entire life. And the fear as you look back from your lucidity is that it will get so big one day you can't put it back in its box, your umbrella wont work, no one walking past will be able to save you. Nothing will break through the overwhelming sadness you feel into your very soul- and what makes it worse is it all seems to be for no reason. You could have the love of your life next to you, beautiful kids and the perfect job, plenty of money and be the saddest most depressed person in the world. This pressure, this overwhelming horror of every day life hurting your soul on a daily basis makes you want to end it. What is the point in "living" if there is literally nothing to live for. If every day seems like it is your darkest day. When it feels like all the hatred in the entire world is your fault and it all falls back on you.
This is the scariest part. Your brain, Your emotions, your soul. What makes you you....is also the thing that seems to want to kill you. It makes you not want to be here any more. You don't want to eat, or you want to eat too much. you don't want to be alone but you don't want to go out. You can't stand your own company but you're stuck in here with you- forever.
Imagine the most hated person you can in your life. Someone you'd easily hurt without a second thought...now imagine that person is you. And live like that, for the rest of your days.
There is enough hatred on the planet as it is, without you then hating yourself too. And if you have a vendetta against yourself. Who's going to really win?
I am a diagnosed, high Anxiety sufferer and I have paranoia, and as a result this makes me depressed. I have been suffering for many, many years. I had my first panic attack at the age of 12 because I was worried about what happens to you when you die. And the very vast expanse that is our endless universe exists within what? What is the universe actually within...
I had no idea what this was. I thought that I'd been worrying about death so much I'd managed to kill myself with my mind.I actually thought I was dying and I couldn't escape it.
I still panic and freak out about this now. I had a panic attack about dying in June last year. I sat screaming and crying in absolute fear on my landing, while my husband cradled me and tried to calm me down. You cannot escape it.
I have Anxiety as a result of being sexually abused between the ages of 8-12 by a "well loved local man". he was a family friend. As a result of this, therapy, court case and coming to terms with it all... and also blaming myself. I missed a lot of school, kids at school I thought knew about it all and were talking about me. The people in my small town too...which it actually turns out they were talking about me, even going as far as to call me a "slut" at the age of 14. I had people that I was no longer allowed to be friends with... and I was constantly aware of everyone around me. Hyper aware. I'd listen to everyone else's conversations, even from afar. I'd be looking around everywhere to see who was where, if they were looking at me, what were they doing, why? Did I know them, are they walking towards me, if they do come over where can I go to get away from them. I started to predict things before they happened because I was so aware of everything I knew what was coming next, My natural instincts, my "fight or flight" reflex was on constant high alert. Code red 24/7. I became an introvert. I had a few very close very amazing friends. Who I am sure, without them and my amazing family, I wouldn't still be here...because living with that anxiety every day, being so on edge was exhausting and I was tired of myself and my life.
By the age of 16 I didn't want to be here anymore. For someone so afraid of death and what happens when you die, I was very quick and willing to end it. THAT'S how much control it had. I knew this was such a bad thing to have, I grasped desperately at anything to keep me here. I remember watching ITV2 and a TV series called Supernatural was just airing, I watched the entire first season without fail and then it ended on a huge cliff hanger, I remember thinking "well I can't do it yet, I need to see what happens"- so literally as you can see, ANY excuse I could find to not let it win. It was like I was bargaining with my own brain to just survive a bit longer... just want to see the next season, or I just want to make it till Sunday so I can go on a walk to the local woods with my best friend...I cant do it now I've got to go swimming tomorrow with my Pops. I was desperate to anchor myself here for any reason, because daily I could feel this depression taking over and taking me away.
I used to self harm as a way of controlling it. Remind myself that I was still in control and not my Anxiety or Depression, ME, I was still here. And if I wanted to mark myself I could. And I did.
Guess what... I was in control, I am still here. I am a fighter. And ironically the cast of Supernatural have an "always keep fighting" campaign now for people who are struggling. (I will post links at the end).
I was officially diagnosed after becoming really bad again at the age of about 22. I was working for a large supermarket chain here in the UK. I had to move from a department I loved because of my scoliosis and I ended up on a department where I loved most of the people but one manager just didn't understand me at all. By this point in my life i'd worked out I had some form of anxiety and depression. So I also knew when I was pushing myself too much. I began to hate my job and this woman so much on the way to work I just wanted to walk into traffic, make it look like an accident. No one would hate me then. In the end i just wanted to jump off the overpass into the road below. I actually laughed at the image of her seeing my body and being like "oh I guess she really was depressed". She was the kind of person who would tell an Anorexic person to "just eat something". So ignorant to others needs.
I knew I was becoming very bad, and also that perhaps I was focusing all of my paranoia into this one person hating me. I started to skip work a lot. Call in sick for weeks at a time. I knew it wasn't right so I went to the doctors...and he recommended I do less hours, this didn't go down well with the evil manager and I ended up being signed off work, for months at a time. I was put onto medication and told to "relax" try and enjoy the little things in the every day. The therapist I eventually did get to see told me to document my good days with photos and share them, as a way of proving to others I wasn't "mental" (as I kept describing it) and to help my paranoia. I had very few good days, but when I did i'd put the odd photo's online, i'd be proud that I left the house and that I did my own shopping etc...But this actually really backfired and I ended up getting several disciplinary's for "not looking sick" after people I worked and considered friends, took these photos of me out of context, without my captions explaining i'd conquered my agoraphobia and gone to the shop etc; all of it was seen as being off work for no reason. Apparently trying to kill yourself and wanting to kill yourself weren't acceptable reasons for being off work. They didn't understand that, the one photo of me in my garden, and the one of some cakes I baked...well, in my garden was as far out of my house as I had gone for an entire month, and that after id made the cupcakes I smashed them up because I was too fat to enjoy them. This manager sat across from me in my meeting and smirked as she read back my private Facebook status's and used examples of people seeing me food shopping, or out and about (usually going to therapy or my doctors) and they had told her I looked completely fine. So clearly there was nothing wrong. This hit me hard. Because first off, I felt like no one believed me. and secondly people who were my 'friends' at work, and so understanding were reporting me for this shit after knowing everything that was going on...
I rage quit that job. I tried to get justice for constructive dismissal but I didn't have any evidence as I didn't document it all. I spiraled into a deep depression. got into debt because I was out of work for over a year in the end and I was saved simply by the strength of my Husband, my close family and a tiny amount of friends. In fact during this time I lost a lot of friends. I was declining invites. I went months without replying to people and seeing anyone. The darkness had escaped it's box and I was lost in it.
And this is why Chester hit me hard. So many people knew he was depressed. Knew he suffered. But everyone has said how he seemed "fine". he looked "fine" he was "happy".
I used to (and still do) listen to Linkin Parks songs, and they used to speak to me on such a level that understood exactly how it felt, and I felt relieved that someone was making songs about the exact things I was feeling. This guy had this horrible thing of depression but he was beating it and did beat it every day...until one day it won. I am battling my issues back on a daily basis, friends and family members have their own similar issues, they are fighting every day, and looking at them and thinking about how it is terrifying that some may not win. What if IT wins. It gets so many people on a daily basis and their seems to be nothing we can do...But there is. Their really is. Just be there. Think of your words. The most precious thing on this earth is time. Respect the time you have and if you can give your time to others then do. Just a text or a phone call to see how someone is could save someones life. Let them know they matter to you. They are enough. And this planet needs them. You need them. And if you don't understand mental health issues or you think suicide is "selfish", spend one minuet talking to someone who has these problems, and actually LISTEN. Don't just listen to reply with why you are "right". Educate yourself. And if you still can't find that compassion for another human life, then perhaps question why you are here. If it's religion you believe, science, spirits...whatever, why are YOU here on this planet? Is it to be oblivious to everyone and everything else around you, what will that mean you take with you in the end? Is it to not care at all and just blindly skip along until you end. Or Is it to tell someone they mean something...could that be the only sentence you need to say to save someone, because surely even if you don't understand, knowing you have been supportive of another human soul is thousands of times better than the negativity people are so quick to spew. You matter. They Matter. All human lives matter. Even if you don't understand, you can help.
The planet is one finite force of life, and it all matters. Save everyone and everything you can. And Always Keep Fighting.
Saturday, 5 August 2017
Saturday, 22 July 2017
Ooops I did it again, I played with My hair...got lost in the game...and then it went shit...
Pretty much sums it up in one bi-line right there.
I was ginger. I was FINALLY the ginger of my fiery dreams and I got bored, BORED. Well that's very simplified, actually my Pops died and I went into a spiral of panic, and realisation about my own mortality and to distract myself I went for a hair overhaul... Insta regret. It wasn't until I emerged from the coma of grief that I realised what I had done...I'd dyed my hair PURPLE...why? Why did I suddenly want purple. I had Ginger hair because i'd always wanted it, and as a bonus I could now cosplay as Triss at Comicon, but those plans were cancelled anyway so I guess with the freedom to have any colour I went for the most ridiculous, other than my old green, Damn I loved that green..Anyway. At first I dyed it a very deep, level 3 Dark Violet Blue. This was my first mistake.
This was my lovely "Before" Ginger, using Goldwell Top Chic, 8KG and a KK mix with 20vol.
Then straight over that I slapped on a Framesi 2001 3IB (i think)
You can already see in this image why it was a HUGE mistake. First off; the violet tones will go brown because of the warmth from the ginger underneath which you can already see happening around the top, and then on the ends where it was lighter, more damaged and porous, it went more blue/green.
So not happy with it being a million different shades I let it fade out a bit, only took two weeks...to turn into this:
Just a weird brown, with hints of purple.
And then I got my friend (and also a hairdresser so I wasn't mixing it wrong) do put on a vibrant Purple which I really loved. And even she was impressed with how vibrant the colour was.
This was the Framesi 2001 5IV with a 20vol Proxima Developer. And it looked stunning.
But the groundwork to my hair had already determened that this hair colour would be THE HARDEST THING TO KEEP IN MY HAIR. No matter what shampoo I used, how long I went between washes, the longest it stayed this vibrant for was 3 washes...so about 8 days, and then I was having to re-dye it again.
Then my depression from my Papa passing really kicked in. I had a "fuck it" moment, shaved off the side of my hair, like i'd been wanting to do for 4 years, as evidenced by my pinterest board of side shaves. But I just thought, do you know what...life's too short, I want it done. BOOM.
And I rock this btw...just not the color as it turns out. It was lovely while it was vibrant, but I was so low I just didn't care about keeping up with dying it every two weeks and gave up. This is what it looked like after two weeks of washing it with a colour protect shampoo...
Shocking. But yeah, as I said, i'd given up at this point. I then started using Head and Shoulders nearly everyday for a solid month to deliberately fade the colour out. I also decided to book myself in to get something done to it professionally. I had no idea what I was going to get, but anything was better than this mess.
So, by the end you can see I still had quite purple roots and green/blue/brown ends.
This is when the magic happened. I went to Victoria Jaynes Hair and Beauty (Yeovil) and over the course of 6 hours she worked some mad magic with the help of Olaplex and Loreal Hair Colors.
And after hours of work she created a masterpiece of balayage and blond glory!!!
I mean seriously! Mind= BLOWN this was my hair and this IS now my hair. I'm over the moon!!!
Even my badass side shave doesn't look as out of place!
I am just so happy. It really does pay to invest in your hair and have a professional do it. Plus the use of Olaplex is pretty much the only reason I think I still actually have hair. I cannot rate it highly enough!
If a salon near you is trained in using it and provides and Olaplex service, then do it.
(side note other salons may say they provide a hair bond protect/repair service, but Olaplex is PATENTED technology and cannot be duplicated by other brands so don't fall for second rate treatments)
Overall I've had my new hair for about 5 weeks. I use Silver shampoo to combat any ginger tones I did have and it looks lovely. I cannot fault it at all. I am so happy.
Sunday, 11 June 2017
Day 9- Hand Cream
I think technically for this one I cheated, because I know i've purchase this stuff before a year or so ago...but I fell in love with it all over again. I bought this when this summer Beauty Brawl was being planned, its been in my bag with me everywhere I go and its nearly all gone already.
Where I work is very hands on. It's a lot of boxing, unpacking, dealing with paperwork, computer use, so my hands bare the brunt of all of my daily tasks and as a result dry out super quick. But this stuff leaves my hands and nails feeling divine and smelling edible!
Probably unfair that the hand cream I had before this was Lushs' "helping hands" so it had a lot to live up to, but to be honest although it doesn't feel as "good for you" as lush products do, it held it's own with its performance. I marked it slightly lower for the Packaging as i feel like it can be looked at again, the package can be quite bulky, so maybe a smaller tube, for cheaper obviously..or in a screw lid tub like a lush cream so it doesn't randomly pop open in your bag. The scent is amazing though, people around you commend on the smell for ages after you applied it. I found it was even leaving the scent on my computer keyboard.
Price at the moment is insane obviously because it is on offer, but even at full price it is still totally worth it for the results and the amount of product you get. Highly recommend this and am actually thinking i may try the other scents they do too.
Love and Light xoxo
Day 8- False Lashes
I don't wear false lashes, and today was going to be an exception but i'm working, and i'll be damned if i'm going to be putting eyelashes on at 6:30am and surviving the day at work with them on, without rubbing my eyes...so instead I'm just going to tell you right now the ONLY lashes you need for day to day wear and even cross over into night is 020 in either Natural Lash or Eyelure.
They are my fail safe, my security blanket, my go-to for any client, any eye shape and any occasion. You can even layer them up as the band is clear and make them look fuller, or wear them as they are and pass them off as your own, they genuinely are the best lashes i have had the pleasure of using.
They're inexpensive, they are re-usable if you treat them right, they easily last all day, they can be layered for volume, the band is clear so if fitted right you cannot even tell they are false, easy to trim and just one of the ultimate must have products i ca have in my professional beauty kit.
Love and Light xoxo
Day 7- Primer
Day 7 already and we are onto primers! Not something I usually use on myself. It's usually something I reserve for clients who want their make up to last all day for special events...and they do work. It's just never been something I've felt I needed. If I do wear make up I top it up myself throughout the day, but at work I don't tend to care or notice my make up state.
For this I chose something I thought would help combat against my redness from my Rosacea. So I went with the Barry M flawless Colour Correcting Primer £5.99
Packaging...well its clear! which is one of my favorite things as you can actually see how much product is left! The product itself smells a bit weird to me, but it soon fades. I found because of my redness I was having to use a lot of product though to get any kind of result, and because of that I marked it lower in price as I should imagine this will only last me a few weeks.
So as you can see, before, with primer, and then with make up. There is actually a really noticeable difference. Because of the amount of product i did have to use i think its something i'll save for special occasions, days out etc...not for every day use.
Love and Light xoxo
Saturday, 10 June 2017
Day 5- Face Mask
Yesterday's post was atrocious. I wasn't prepared, my computer was broken so I ended up just going with the original first draft. Today I will make up for it!
I was originally going to review one of the Sheet face masks from Beauty Pro but at the moment my eyes need more help than anything, so sticking with the same Brand I went with their Under Eye sheet masks instead. which I have linked you to Here.
I love the whole range of Beauty Pro masks. But this by far is my favorite to date. Its £4.95 and you get three sets of eye treatments (3x2 eye pads) I usually slap them on in the evening while I'm in the bath but I decided today I'd put them to the real test on only 4 hours sleep eyes.
As you can see the before (left) and afters (right) are actually pretty good after only 15 min. as usual my Rosacea is on point, but it definitely makes a difference to the colour and size of the bags under my eyes.
Would very highly recommend their other sheet face masks too. I have tried out the foaming one and the olive oil one and they are both excellent too.
Love and Light. xoxo
Friday, 9 June 2017
Day 5- Nail Varnish/ Lacquer
This usually would be completely my jam. But my nails are nothing to be desired right now on my hands and my toots...well they aren't getting a look in for a few weeks at least. So my lovely vast collection of OPI nail lacquer is going unused, unloved and mourned right now. But in the grand scheme of things...it is only claw colour. Regardless, and with help from my job and skills as a beauty therapist. I'm here to highly recommend the "My Gecko Does Tricks" Pearl Finish Lacquer by OPI
It is usually around £6 from any good stockist and while I am an avid OPI lover, this colour was released last year (?) and is still a firm favorite and re-purchase for me and clients. And the Peal finish just adds to the shine.
OPI are a staple brand for any nail and beauty enthusiast. People may say they are over-priced but this price is warranted when you see the difference between an OPI product and an off the shelf colour, especially in comparison to longevity, brightness and thickness of product. OPI is a two cote product, at most. If you use their own brand Base and top coat too these colours easily last up to two weeks even for a hands on working environment.
My only criticisms are that OPI discontinue colour a lot, leaving you to have to colour match or wait until the re-name it and release it as something else. They bottles sit well in your hand when your painting a client but trying to do your own nails is near on impossible without putting the bottle down on a non-slip surface, and the lid can be slippery and difficult, especially if you have smaller than average hands.
Love and Light xoxo
Tuesday, 6 June 2017
Day 4- Make up Remover
I feel as though I am able to take advantage of my job here when it comes to stuff like this. I work full time at a professional only, hair and beauty suppliers and I love my job, and therefore also love some of the products I get to try and sell. Although because some of these are trade only, it is harder to find legitimate people who sell these products other than from the wholesalers or from the supplier themselves, therefore I will only be linking you to their official website and reviewing the price based on what I paid for it personally rather than what it would be to the common consumer.
I chose to use something a bit different and switch up my make up removing routine in the evenings. I use Kaeso Beauty Products on my clients, love the smell and how make up always seems to glide on after a treatment so I thought i'd give their Hydrating range a try as summer is here (questionable) and my skin plus my skin issues means it can be a bit over the top to how it reacts to different and new products and this seemed to be the one that is most gentle out of all their ranges.
This product smells beautiful and light, The cleanser is Aloe Vera and Cotton, which just smells so fresh on your skin as you're wiping away the days rubbish. I know this is technically all about the cleanser, but what use would my dermatology training be if I didn't bang on about the full proper routine. I got these items as a set, including an exfoliator and mask for under £20, they aren't featured as they aren't designed for daily use on skin, but these three are the trio of dreams. They come in a pretty non-descript box but the products packaging themselves are neat, sleek and professional looking. The pumps are robust and pretty hard to break (I drop them all the time) and the price for all 3 of them at retail cost of about £35 is actually really amazing for what you are getting. I just marked it lower as its hard to get your hands on unless you're connected.
This is definitely a new favorite, although I am looking into trying their calming range next. I'll see which one I prefer and probably stick to them for a while.
Love and Light xoxo
Day 3- Eyeliner
Gather around friends and companions, I have a sad tale to tell...it is the epic tale of HOW MY EYELIDS DON'T LIKE ANY EYELINER.
Whew...anyway. I have highly sensitive skin, it goes red if the temperature changes even slightly, part and parcel of Rosacea and sensitive skin. I'm fortunate in that over the past few years I have gained a lot of control over my skin, and now my main issue is just the redness and not really spots or veins etc...but, because I don't want to aggravate the skin Gods when my skin does play up against a new product I let my skin win it's little tantrum, for an easy life. So I DID buy a lovely liquid eyeliner to review today, but instead I am going back to an old faithful that I never have any issues with. I'm breaking the brawl rules slightly but when needs must...
My lovely old faithful is still not perfect. My issue with the product itself is it runs out so quickly. I do eyeliner nearly every single day. Other eyeliners I've used similar to this have lasted a good couple of moths...this is usually a monthly purchase for me. But considering it's only £3.50, even tightly budgeted months I can actually afford to get this product.
When i'm doing special event make up on clients I always use high end products, usually Jane Iredale, Lush etc...but this eyeliner is always one I come back to for clients too. I even end up getting them hooked on this item too.
The packaging is ideal for keeping in your handbag, a clutch or even a pocket. So you can literally top it up any time. It's super easy to use, even if you're not very skilled at the cat eye look. My only advice and stipulation would be to not use it for your lower lid. It's far too harsh and hard to blend out. Overall a great and inexpensive product.
Love and light. xoxo
Day 2- Brow Product
Brows are important these days, long gone are the days of pencil/drawn on tiny lines and in with the bushy natural looking (for most), eye framing brows. I quite like my brows, and like most people mine are definitely sisters and not twins. I had one that cooperates without question and the other that's a rebel without a cause. That's usually the one I hide under my hair, also happens to be the massive deciding factor in what side of my head I chose to shave.
For this one I chose another Make up Revolution Item; Their Brow Pomade in "Graphite"
Brows done :)
This product is actually amazing for the price. It's £6.00! That's INSANE for what it does. If you're not too apt at doing brows it may take a bit of practice, but once you get the hang of it (and have the right shade for your brows) this product is perfect. The consistency of it actually is quite waxy, which means it holds the brows into place, its easy to wipe off and adjust at first but also equally quite easy to remove at the end of the day...but also as a plus if you don't take it off at the end of the day your brows are actually still there the next morning. The packaging initially is the usual gold/black box, in keeping with the brand's style, but the actual product itself comes with an excellent little duel ended brush that is perfect for filling in on the flat side and shaping on the angled side. the little jar fits perfectly into your daily makeup bag. My only gripe is that the brush is really hard to clear off excess product if you do want to take it in your make up bag, and you do end up painting everything in your bag with the excess off the brush.
That said this is an excellent product.
Love and light. xoxo
Day 1- Liquid lipstick
Not going to lie, I'm not a fan of liquid lipsticks. I'm an artist, make up artist and illustration, I like to be creative, wild and make a mess. Liquid lipsticks are harsh and unforgiving. They require you to be precised in a way only a surgeon can be... and then there's usually me plastering it on like a reject from a Miranda Sings lookalike competition.
I went with an old faithful brand and chose Make up Revolution's Salvation Liquid Lipstick in "Velvet rose" , I also teamed it up with one of my favorite and a bit more pricier lip liners by Jane Iredale also in the shade "Rose"
This is pretty much the only photo of me wearing this lipstick where it isnt smeared half way across my face or on my teeth.
All marked out of 100, as you can probably tell I wasn't too impressed. It took ages to dry and go matte, it dried my lips out and stained them really bad until the following day, and despite the fact it was stained it didn't actually stay on my lips very well, in fact the lip liner stayed on my lips a lot longer. The packaging is swanky and makes it look a bit more high end then it is, it feels nice to put on, although given how precised you have to be it's a bit tricky to get the hang of even for a pro. The best part about it was the price as it was only £3.00, which is insane.
I've tried their darker liquid lipsticks and they all seem to be amazing in spite of my hatred of liquid lipsticks, I may just have had a dud, or because it is a lighter colour it doesn't perform the same as the others, or am I just making excuses. Regardless, only impressive thing was the price!
Love and Light. XoXo